Hey, Mentor! Yeah, I'm talking to you!

I’m fortunate to have had a number of quite incredible mentors in my professional life. But one in particular stands head and shoulders above the others. Even now, 30 years after working with Mark, I still regularly call upon the lessons he taught me. Not a day goes by where I don’t ask myself, “Matthew, what would Mark do in this situation?” And without fail, I will always do the EXACT opposite.

I have learned as much, (and probably more), from the “Marks” of this world as I have from those who supported and advised me. Mark has no idea that he’s a mentor of mine. I was too young and inexperienced (scared) to tell him. He is completely oblivious to the impact he made in what turned out to be a very short space of time. Because he got fired. Arsehole.

For all I know, Mark may’ve spent the 30 years since I last saw him, dedicating his life to others - volunteering at various orphanges and owl sanctuaries. But as far as I’m concerned he will always be a bully, his legacy carved in granite the moment I said to myself, “Never, ever treat a colleague the way Mark treats his.” I like to think I’ve honoured that legacy. So, thank you Mark.

Which is why I have such an issue with the concept of mentorship. Here is one definition:

"Mentorship is a relationship between two people where the mentor provides advice and guidance to their mentee to help them grow, learn, and develop professionally".

Please. Let’s not fool ourselves. We don’t decide IF or WHEN we mentor. Or WHOM we mentor. In the same way, we don’t get to choose the person who may one day teach us our most valuable lesson. We are all Mentors. And Mentees. 24 hours a day, 7 Days a week whether we like it or not.

Mentorship is not the odd pearl of wisdom offered over a flat-white once a month.

No way! Every single decision we make and interaction we have - good or bad - is a potentially life-changing lesson for someone, somewhere.

Despite all my very best intentions, there is actually a pretty good chance that I am somebody’s “Mark”. I’ve made more than my share of shocking judgement calls, and in the process learned some tough lessons. But as much as they still make me cringe, I would sincerely hate to think I was the only person learning from the spankings life has given me. Take my ex-colleague Stuart Neal for example; I dearly hope that young man was taking detailed notes the day my contract for “CATS” wasn’t renewed, swearing to “never behave like Matthew Cutts if I ever get fired”. But I can't be the one to tell that story. He must be.

It took a single wildebeest to dawdle across a river full of submerged crocs, for an entire species to change its behaviour overnight. "RUN you fools!!!!!". Not because the animal died, but because the death was witnessed. Stuart witnessed me, the lone wildebeest, get devoured in our dressing room - the crocodiles, my ego. He now has an obligation to pass this lesson on, through his own behaviours, so others don't make the same mistake I did.

Mentee and Mentor. Darwin called it Evolution.

The Blockbuster “JAWS” is a perfect example: the Inciting Incident that kicks off the story is not, as we might think, a young woman being killed by a monster shark but rather her remains being discovered. Otherwise she would've been just another drowning statistic. In fact Mentorship is like Storytelling. No. It’s not LIKE it, it IS Storytelling. And not the “controlling the narrative” kind we are bombarded with daily.

Mentorship is an eternal Story defined by actions, not curated advice reimagined for the chosen few.

I found Mark on Social Media - the first time I’ve seen his face or heard his voice in 30 years. He hasn’t been volunteering at owl sanctuaries. Turns out he’s still an arsehole. And still my Mentor.