THE LOST LANGUAGE OF LOCKDOWN

Ahhh... It's good to be home.

When I first started performing in the West End, there was no such thing as a Sunday show. Until fairly recently, Sunday was everybody’s day off. (A Christmas Panto at the London Palladium was the odd exception to the rule.) Gradually though, more and more productions have moved to include a Sunday in the brutal 8 Show/6 Day Week. Missing weddings and parties, having to work Xmas and New Year’s Eve, and of course, only making it to the pub in time for last orders; all necessary sacrifices made at the altar of professional theatre. But Sunday Shows? Never! Well, how times have changed… When I was in Jersey Boys at the Piccadilly Theatre, we had the dubious honour of having the worst schedule of all the big shows; 2 Shows on a Saturday, a 5.00pm show on a Sunday, Monday off, then 2 Shows on a Tuesday. No long weekends away, boozy Sunday brunches, or laid back barbies with friends for me. Catching up with anyone I wasn’t already working with was impossible. And that included my long-suffering wife, Hester.

At the time, Hester was based down at Canary Wharf with Barclays Bank. That’s right, she a pinstriped corporate while I was one of those corduroy creatives. Our conflicting schedules were definitely sent to test us but somehow, with a little effort, we made it work. 

“Sneaky Phone Calls”. Pre-arranged “Brief Encounters” as our paths crossed at Finsbury Park Station. The reluctant “Post-Show Midnight Catchup"; Hester dozed and pretended to listen while I prattled on from the end of the bed eating scotch eggs. The reluctant early morning “Walk and Talk” to the station; Hester rabbiting away, laptop in hand with me at her side, still half asleep and vision impaired by last night’s crusty mascara. Sounds romantic I know, but we made it work. Hester even went down to a 4 day week so we might have one, uninterrupted day together. Hooray for Mondays! We were in the very fortunate position to make the “4 day-week” a reality, but it was a decision I was never particularly comfortable with. Every aspect of our lives was being compromised for a job that to be honest, I hated. Not long after this, I called time on my 25-year stage career and Hester went back to a 5 day week. (It made very little difference to the household income.)

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And here we are again, thanks to COVID-19, negotiating our schedules in a new employment landscape. But this time it seems more difficult…

Hester and I are both fiercely independent people, so the first rule we put in place for LOCKDOWN was that when some “alone time” was needed, it could and should be taken - no questions asked - and so far so good. There are plenty of articles out there now for those new to working from home, offering tips and discussing factors that may need to be addressed e.g. Employer and Employee Tax Issues, Insurance & Liability Cover, Reliable Technology Systems, Loneliness, A Strict “Work From Home” Policy, and Exercise Routines; and so far, none of these potential hurdles has been a problem. Finding those little moments we both used to look forward to though, has been:

1. The "Walk & Talk": Cancelled. Now that the daily commute is no longer necessary, neither is the “Walk & Talk”. Meetings too, seem to be appearing earlier in the work diary now that travel-time is not a consideration.

2. The “Sneaky Phone Call”: Cancelled. With a well-stocked fridge less than 10 feet from the ZOOM Meeting, there’s no need to leave the office for a bento box and sneaky little phone call on the way. I miss those calls.

3. The “Key in the Door”: Cancelled. This one hurts. The anticipation of someone arriving home from work. Gone. Ouch.

4. The “Ahh, It’s Good To Be Home”: Cancelled. Nope. Still in the office. Always in the office. (Hester and I have started recreating both the “Key in the Door” and “Ahh, It's Good To Be Home” moments like some Amateur Improv Theatre Group.)

The list goes on, but you get the picture. While Lockdown means Hester and I now have practically unlimited access to each other, this can’t compete with the shouted hello and blown kiss on the stairs at Finsbury Park. That took co-ordination, timing and focus, and boy was it worth it. If we're not careful, all that focus and co-ordination will now just go into making sure we don’t piss each other off (too much). Should working from home (WFH) become the norm, the real challenge will be finding quality moments with those special people living under the same roof. It won't be reliable Remote System Access, email fatigue, or Sick Leave Entitlement; most businesses had that stuff sorted within the first 2 weeks of Lockdown. 

Turning the house into an office is the easy part. But we mustn’t forget to turn it back into a home at the end of the day. There should be an App for that.